Train Talk

               As a non-driver, I have to spend a lot of time on trains. I am so used to the overcrowding, late running services and strike action that it has stopped bothering me. However, something happened to me at King’s Cross last week, which was a completely new experience.

               The queue at the ticket office was about a hundred miles long, only one desk was open, and everyone seemed to have more questions than a quiz show host. So, I gave up and used the machine instead. Ticket machines are very hard to operate, they claim to be touch screen, but I find you have to hit it so hard it injures your hand, in order to get anywhere.

               One tip I would give anyone getting a train from a major city is get there early. That way there is a much higher chance of getting a seat (if you are incredibly fortunate, a seat not covered in litter or wet patches). Another tip is the unreserved carriages are often much quieter than the carriages with reservations.

               I wasn’t quite so lucky with the 1pm service, the train was packed with rugby fans returning from the Challenge Cup final. An announcement was made saying that due to a change in train the reservation system was being turned off and people would be able to sit anywhere. Except this meant being able to sit nowhere.

               There was no chance I was going to stand for three hours (at a cost of £67) so I got back off the train and went to the help desk. My ticket was changed for the 1.30pm service and a new reservation issued. No problem, I thought as I went to find a sandwich that cost less than the price of a Ford Capri (not easy in a London train station).

               This time I was prepared. I was ready to dash as soon as the announcement was made. This time it was platform 4 and yet more rugby fans engulfed the platform with their chanting and flag waving. However, there was another problem here. The carriage I had my reservation for, didn’t actually exist. I walked along the platform twice to make sure I wasn’t going mad but there was no carriage B. There was only C, D, E & F.

               Now I was getting irritated and went to find a human being to moan at. I explained to the very patient man at the help desk that I didn’t understand the point of issuing reservations when the systems don’t work, and the carriages don’t exist. “Leave it with me”, he said, as he disappeared down the platform.

               Shortly after I was introduced to Michael (the train manager). I am never sure that train manager is any different from ticket inspector but in this case, Michael was very useful and told me he had found me a seat. I was expecting to be put somewhere in a corridor by the toilet next to a bicycle, large dog and somebody vomiting but no. I was to be upgraded to first class.

               I have never been in first class, but it felt like Michael was upgrading a lot of people who had been complaining, presumably just to shut them up (it worked!) I got a leather seat and fold down table, there was also somewhere to put my luggage that was close enough I could actually see it. Then another perk, a free warm sausage roll and an apple juice. This was very exciting. I regretted the train station sandwich immediately, thinking I could have better used the money on an around the world cruise. The rest of the experience I missed by falling asleep.

               On departure of the station, I pondered if I would pay the extra to go in first class on future journeys. It seemed to be about an extra £45 which is a lot for a sausage roll and bottle of juice. On the other hand, would I go to the help desk next time there is a problem with the reservation system? Absolutely.