Who Do You Support?

This is a question that I dread. The truth is, I have no interest at all in football and never really have done. It seems that is a subject there is no correct answer to. If pushed into a corner, I will name the nearest big city and say I support them. A few years ago, I confidently told somebody I supported London.

If I tell the truth, people look at me like I am crazy and edge slowly away, never to be seen again. Or else they just ask again ‘come on, you must have a team’. If I make up a club to support, it inevitably leads to follow up questions I have no idea how to answer. I have learned that VAR (some kind of action replay system that takes ages) is generally hated so I try to make a quip about that and change the conversation. Once I tried to say I supported England, but I found that was the wrong answer too.

Soccer Player Kicking White Gray Soccer Ball on Green Grass Field

I suppose a lot of this was down to school PE. I hated it so much, sports seem to make people angry and spending an hour in shorts in the rain in January was my idea of hell. We had a terrifying Scottish PE teacher who did nothing but yell. Mr Roberts was a short man, with a shaved head and for whom smiling seemed a sign of personal weakness. If a student, did particularly poorly in a lesson, he would make them litter pick. I always tried to do badly to gather crisp packets, but it rarely worked. One day it was announced in an assembly that Mr Roberts was about to become a father and I was genuinely surprized.

As an autistic adult, I find football very intimidating. Large crowds of people all shouting are something I actively avoid. People take it so seriously and major tournaments disrupt everything. I used to try telling people that ‘it is only a game and there will be another one on soon’ but that never seemed to go down well.

I have to pay special attention to the football schedules, so I am not around at the end of a game. Going shopping during an England game will guarantee empty streets. I have noticed that there are four stages of national mood during a football tournament.

Part 1. We will never win

               Part 2. We might actually win

               Part 3. We are going to win

               Part 4. We didn’t win.

So in anticipation of the football returning, I have found out that London is not the name of a team, League one is actually the third league and if all else fails just moan about VAR.

People Watching Soccer Game

4 thoughts on “Who Do You Support?

  1. I will just say very well written. I am the sole Canary fan in a houseful of Gunners. Most of our conversations revolve around the topic. Oh well at least we are talking.


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