DBS

For months now my manager has been asking for my DBS record… I somehow misunderstood DBS to mean Digital Banking Service and that my boss was being weird and wanting to see how much I have in my account…

Turns out it is the ‘Disclosure and Barring Service’ which sounds very Peggy Mitchell (‘get out of my pub’) and I need one as I have chosen to work with people…

There is something terrifying about official procedures, not because I have anything to hide (I am really not that interesting) but trying to work out how to fill it in is extremely complicated.

The first bit is easy – addresses, contact details, payment details (of course they want payment details before anything else) – it is the second part that is difficult.

I need to

• Provide two pieces of ‘approved’ ID
• Take them to a post office to get another form
• Find a post office that is still open
• Pay for the post office (that must still exist somewhere) to do this
• Take the form they give me and ‘digitally attach’ this to the ID
• Work out what ‘digitally attach’ means, then how to do it

These are the bits I can find out of the process so far, it is no wonder they take the money first, they would never get paid if it was at the end.

Apparently I will get the results within 7 days of the application being entered although at this rate by the time I work out how to do that, the process will have changed again.

Bureaucracy is so much fun.