Dog Inclusive Weddings

The posh hotel has been running ‘dog friendly’ weddings for a while now. This meant that people could bring their pets to the ceremony and to the reception. It was always quite popular, and the hotel earned money by charging an extra fee per hound. Then somebody took it one stage further and a new program was born, ‘dog inclusive’ weddings, rather than just attending, the dogs were to be given active roles in these outdoor ceremonies. So how has it all been going?

               The first dog inclusive wedding was for a middle-aged couple. Her father had recently passed away, so the bride decided to be walked down the aisle by her elderly greyhound, Fiona. It was quite a small wedding held in the garden, but it seemed that all the attention had taken its toll on poor Fiona. She had already eaten the poesy, some twigs and half an unattended beer and by the time her big moment came, nature was taking its course. Halfway down the aisle, Fiona stopped to do her business (which made for a lovely photo), it took a while to get her moving again which gave the bridal party time to find a plastic bag to remove the offending item. Only then was it noticed that her deposit was runny. As there were young children in the group, we then had to discreetly clean the aisle as the wedding ceremony was progressing. Amazingly, on the way out, Fiona did the same thing once again.

Trouble is brewing…

However, this was nothing compared to the next dog inclusive wedding which featured a pair of two-year-old Jack Russell twins named Lala and Po (apparently after the Teletubbies). Lala was chosen to be a bridesmaid while Po was the ring bearer. Lala had a dress to wear which matched ones worn by her human counterparts and Po had a waistcoat with a strip of Velcro which the ring box would be attached to.

Apparently, the wedding rehearsal had gone very well but that was without the excitement of the attending crowds. Problem one was that Lala did not want to wear the dress that had been specially made for her and insisted on trying to rip it off with her teeth, but the bride was insistent that it was worn. It took three people to pin her down to get the dog dressed. Getting Po into his waistcoat had been much more straight forward although while wearing it, he jumped up at a baby who immediately vomited on Po and the waistcoat meaning both now needed washing.

A doggy waistcoat

The Jack Russell twins were finally ready to go, Lala managed to get down the aisle with the other bridesmaids with the matching dresses (although attempts to repair the rips were a little less than fully successful). Po had the ring box attached to his waistcoat and as he was released from his lead, Po saw a rabbit through a gap in the hedge and went charging off for a game of chase. The ring box became detached and the entire group went chasing after both dog and ring. Lala took this opportunity to finally rid herself of the hated gown and the registrar just stood there in pure shock as the sickly baby had another explosive episode.

I am informed we have had an enquiry for a wedding featuring six chihuahuas – what could possibly go wrong?

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