Is It Over Yet?

A few weeks ago I blogged that I was looking forward to Christmas. However now the festive season has gone on for so long that for me a tipping point has been reached and now I struggle to remember life before Christmas. Over the last few days and weeks, a number of things have become clear:

  • I can happily live the rest of my life without hearing Wham, Slade or Mariah Carey ever again.
  • Glitter is one of the worst things ever invented and along with cockroaches will survive a nuclear apocalypse.
  • I don’t care if Die Hard counts as a Christmas film or not.
  • Turkey isn’t a good meat and most people are too scared to admit they would prefer something else.
  • A large number of cracker jokes don’t really make sense.
  • Christmas TV is generally a celebrity version of every other show in the schedule (featuring people I feel the need to Google) plus a load of repeats.

My neighbours have got very competitive with their outside lights (presumably because they have nothing else to do). They have inflatable Santas in the garden, sleighs projected on the sides of the house and so many lights, I need sunglasses to walk down the street. In fact, there was no chance of seeing Jupiter last week as the lights from my road made the skies brighter than the sun. I think even the weather has had enough as Storm Bella tore everything down overnight, although as I write this, the man opposite is up a ladder putting his lights back up again ready for round two. If there is one thing that I hope that we have all learned from 2020 it is this. Just because the supermarkets start Christmas in September, doesn’t mean the rest of us have to.

Obviously, the reason for this massively extended festive season is because we all have so much time with the Government issued stay-at-home instructions. It makes me wonder, what would happen to our competitive nature if it was some other time of year?

  • If this carries on until February, will we all be commissioning light aircraft to write love messages in the skies?
  • If this carries on until May, will we all be repurposing brooms and drain pipes for may pole dancing blocking off most residential streets in the process?
  • If this carries on until August, will we all be wearing large sombreros and competitively making larger and ever more extravagant cocktails until we all collapse?

I really hope we don’t get to find out.

One thought on “Is It Over Yet?

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