In the morning: slept in late, read through the newspapers
In the afternoon: Went to the Trafford Centre for a book but could not find the one I wanted.
In the evening: went on the internet too. Did quite a bit of college reading. Watching television for a while.
Best thing this week was finishing coursework
Next week break up for the Easter holiday, will restart my swimming and do some revision, I am looking forward to a long break.
Morning 5, afternoon 6, evening 5
The next few days will be very quiet, only one week until Easter
Tomorrow: a long double free and tutorial
Weather: sunny and warm, temp 14. Summary: a fairly forgettable end to a stressful week. Total 5, Week 6.
I was 18 at this point and coming up to my A-Levels. I enjoyed college, it was a huge place with lots of small buildings scattered over a large estate. One of my strongest memories of the time was trying to get to the canteen at the exact point the hot cookies came out of the oven and they would still be warm in the middle. They were 30p each and I can still remember the amazing smell.
Double free was the greatest thing about college. Two hours where we could do anything. The idea was that we would sit in the library but instead I would go and help at the shop mobility centre. They would lend electric scooters to people who found walking hard so they could get their shopping. I am not sure how this voluntary work started but I am very sure it ended when, in an absent minded moment, I pushed a panic button and the police came rushing in.
Reading back through this, I am amused by the idea of me having ‘read through the newspapers’. I do not believe this statement could have true. There is no way, I would have had a pile of Sunday papers and certainly not have had the patience to read them through. So why did I write this? Was I expecting the diary to be found? If so, why am I trying to impress this hypothetical person?
I have skipped over the Trafford Centre mention but that must have been a major part of my day. The Trafford Centre is a huge shopping mall on the outskirts of Manchester. It took a train, a tram and then a bus to get there so going all that way (and being a Sunday, the service would have been less frequent), to look for an unspecified book and then not getting it might seem odd. I now see this as an example of my clear autistic behaviour.
The idea of measuring energy was explained to me as ‘spoons’ although others find this term infantilising and prefer ‘bandwidth’. Basically, it refers to a finite amount of energy. Sometimes a journey can take so much effort (loud noises, crowds, stress, sensory overload etc) that I can’t take anything else and just go home. I suspect this is what happened here. I have wasted whole days by going all the way to London getting off the train and then booking a ticket straight back again because my ‘spoons’ ran out.
I notice that I was still scoring my days out of ten and still giving everything either 5 or 6, something I had been doing in my diaries throughout my teenage years.
The stressful week refers to the handing in of my coursework. I really enjoyed coursework, doing a project under my own steam suits me nicely and is something I still really thrive on. Exams are much more difficult as the questions are unknown, making planning more challenging. Reading previous entries reveals the coursework topic was ‘skills and equalities’ and I can’t remember a thing about it.
This diary shows how little I have changed since I was 18, I still go to shopping centres without buying anything, I still haven’t restarted my swimming but at least I am ready to admit to not having ‘read through the papers’.