Joseph and his Amazing Accidental Premier

I have spent most of this week in London. On telling a colleague my plans I got the advice ‘London are you sure? People who go to London get stabbed’. Plot spoiler – I didn’t get stabbed.

However there was an incident.

On my last night in the city, I decided a night at a West End show would be a lovely way to spend a couple of hours. The show I chose was Joseph which I have good memories of seeing as a child.

To be clear, the main reason was that it started at 7pm (whereas everything else was 7:30pm or later). I figured by finishing earlier, there would be fewer loud/drunk people around on the streets when I was getting back.

What I completely failed to realise was this was earlier because it was the premier. There were photographers outside and a red carpet. I was still wearing the same t-shirt & jeans I had been wearing all day. Everyone else was in ties & jackets.

So here was me walking down the red carpet as photographers and autograph hunters look past me and a usher rushes over ‘Excuse me, have you got a ticket for tonight?’

He seemed surprized that I did. I guess they don’t get a lot of people on a red carpet carrying a bag of shopping.

The theatre was packed and noisy – two things I really don’t like. So I headed to the bar. Two double G&Ts were quickly ordered to steady my nerves.

On getting to my seat there was a conversation behind me about what famous people had been spotted. Vanessa Feltz, Claire Sweeney, Christopher Biggins, Gary Wilmot, Rhydian and Amanda Holden were all apparently here.

Part way through the first half it occurred to me that I was possibly not smelling my freshest which added to my sense of unease. So back to the bar at the interval.

I took my next G&T back to my seat as ‘theatrical’ people used loud voices to tell each other how brilliant they thought the other was.

Then I saw Beverley Knight, who is one of the few people I would describe myself as a fan of, I was slightly overwhelmed at this point and then I noticed the man she was talking to was Andrew Lloyd Webber.

This was the point when it all got too much and I managed to drop the drink down my front and the cup somehow ended up in the expensive looking handbag of the woman next to me, who miraculously didn’t notice.

I didn’t stay for the second half and headed for the underground smelling of sweat and gin.

Perhaps celebrity filled premiers are not for me.

3 thoughts on “Joseph and his Amazing Accidental Premier

  1. I too know people who honestly believe that if you venture 100 yards further than Swaffham or 10 mile this side of Kings Lynn, that your life is in mortal danger.
    What a waste of half show and a gin and tonic. If I were that woman, I would be literally down on my knees sucking the dregs from my designer handbag.


  2. As ever your recollections are funny and real! Keep up the good work, you always make me smile! S


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