One’s company, two’s a crowd

I have always been very happy in my own company. Where as most kids wanted the approval of their classmates, I actively avoided it. I always found other people a complication in my life. It is much easier to do what I want, if nobody else is involved.

More recently, I have found out this is an autistic trait. Before this it was being a ‘loner’. A term is usually used negatively to describe somebody abnormal, somebody strange, somebody to be feared.

In my case, it is the exact opposite. I like being alone as I struggle with unpredictable behaviour. I actively avoid big groups, young children, animals, drunk people, street entertainers, birds or anyone who might do something I can’t predict.

Plus not having anyone else to please means I am free to do what I want, when I want. I don’t need to justify my decisions as I don’t really have anyone to justify them to.

It would be lovely if being a ‘loner’ was seen as a positive rather than something to be feared but until then, I am happy to embrace the term to describe myself, not as a negative but (like blonde or tall) a simple statement of fact.

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